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Guide How Not to Write Bad College Essays

Guide How Not to Write Bad College Essays

bad college essay examples
Table of content

What is Bad College Essay

What is Bad College Essay Topic

What College Essay Topics to Avoid

The Main Things to Avoid in College Essays

Bad College Essay Examples and a Few Tips On How to Fix Them

First Example

Mistakes and Solutions for the First Example

Second Example

Mistakes and Solutions for the Second Example

Final Words

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Similarly, while there are impressive examples of exceptional essays that catch admissions committees' attention, there are also unfortunate cases of essays that fall short.

Following the guidelines in my guide can significantly improve your chances of producing a compelling essay. Are you curious about how to avoid writing a subpar admissions essay? Keep reading to learn about the traits of a lackluster essay and discover which topics are best avoided in college essays. Additionally, I will provide insights on identifying a poorly written college essay and what actions to take if you end up writing one inadvertently.

What is Bad College Essay

From my experience, bad college essays often suffer from a lack of authenticity and originality. They recycle clichéd narratives or overly broad topics without providing a personal touch or unique perspective. Poor structure and unclear arguments further detract from their effectiveness. Additionally, ignoring the prompt or failing to proofread for grammatical errors and typos can quickly diminish an essay's quality. Essentially, what makes an essay bad is its inability to capture and convey the writer's genuine voice and individual story in a clear, compelling, and well-organized manner.

What is Bad College Essay Topic

In my view, the fastest way to undermine a college essay is by choosing a topic that misses the mark on revealing who you are or fails to showcase how you approach specific experiences. I've observed that choosing the wrong topic can doom an essay in various ways. The essay is your chance to show the admissions committee your personality, character, and talents or skills that your transcript doesn't show. Starting with a poor topic leads to a weak essay and can tarnish the positive impression created by the rest of your application.

Some topics can signal to admissions officers a lack of judgment or maturity, which is concerning since they want to build a community of independent, college-ready individuals. Others can make you appear dull or unable to reflect on your experiences engagingly, which is problematic because colleges aim to foster a vibrant, interactive student body. Additionally, focusing solely on yourself to the exclusion of broader perspectives can indicate a lack of awareness or engagement with the world, which contradicts the collegiate goal of expanding your horizons through new people and ideas.

What College Essay Topics to Avoid

Crafting a college essay is a delicate balancing act, aiming to present oneself in the best possible light while avoiding pitfalls that can detract from one's application. From my experience, certain topics can hinder rather than help, casting a shadow on the applicant's desirability. Here's a detailed guide on which topics to avoid and why:

Too Personal:

Sharing excessively personal details can make the reader uncomfortable and question your judgment regarding what's appropriate to share in a professional or academic setting. While personal growth and overcoming adversity are compelling, there's a fine line between being open and oversharing sensitive, potentially unsettling details.

Examples: Deep family secrets, explicit romantic encounters, graphic descriptions of personal trauma.

Too Opinionated:

Confidence is key, but overconfidence can come across as arrogance. Essays that read like a laundry list of self-proclaimed virtues without humility or recognition of the complexity of issues can alienate admissions officers. They seek students who are not only talented but also ready to learn and grow.

Examples: Claiming unmatched intelligence, boasting about superior moral standing, asserting you'll single-handedly solve global issues.

Too Off-Topic:

Straying far from topics that highlight your personal growth, academic interests, or community involvement can leave admissions officers puzzled about what you're trying to convey. Your essay should reflect your readiness for college, not just your hobbies or interests.

Too Offensive:

Examples: An exhaustive account of a family vacation, a detailed review of your favorite book or movie, or a narrative about your pet's daily routine.

Too Offensive:

Essays should be respectful and inclusive. Touching controversial subjects without a thoughtful, balanced approach can be disrespectful or narrow-minded. Remember, the goal is to show how you can contribute to a diverse and dynamic college community, not to alienate parts of it.

Examples: Political rants, religious proselytizing, insensitive jokes or remarks about sensitive topics.

Too Shows Poor Judgment:

Reflecting on past mistakes with a sense of growth and understanding can be powerful. However, glorifying poor choices suggests a lack of maturity and an inability to recognize the gravity of those actions. Colleges want students who display good judgment and integrity.

Examples: Bragging about engaging in illegal activities, recounting a story of academic dishonesty, celebrating a decision that led to harmful consequences.

Too Formulaic or Boring:

While these topics can be meaningful, they've become so common that they often fail to stand out. Without a unique angle or deeply personal reflection, such essays can blend into the sea of applications, missing the chance to showcase what makes you uniquely you.

Examples: The overdone sports injury comeback story, the volunteer trip that "changed your life," the essay about how you learned the value of hard work from a family member.

The Main Things to Avoid in College Essays

Poor college essays don't always stem from poor topic choices. At times, despite choosing a compelling and pertinent topic, your essay might still convey an impression of immaturity or a lack of preparedness for college due to how you articulate your ideas in the personal statement. Reviewing your essay to ensure it doesn't contain any of the typical errors listed here is crucial.

Lack of Personality

The essence of a personal statement is to showcase your unique voice and character. An essay lacking personality feels bland and generic, making it hard for admissions officers to connect with you on a personal level. Injecting your personal experiences, reflections, and individuality into your writing helps your essay stand out.

Example 1:

  • Submitting an essay that reads more like a resume.
  • Listing achievements without injecting my insights or emotions.
  • Making it dry and impersonal.

Example 2: Adopting a formal tone throughout the essay that didn't allow my natural curiosity and humor to shine through, leaving the piece feeling cold and detached.

Deafness to Tone

A tone-deaf essay fails to recognize the broader context of its audience or subject matter. It might be insensitive or inappropriate, especially if it touches on sensitive topics without the necessary care or understanding. Ensuring your essay respects and acknowledges the complexity of certain issues is crucial to avoid alienating your reader.

Example 1: Discussing my volunteer experience in a way that sounded more like a tourist recounting their adventures, failing to grasp the depth of the community's challenges.

Example 2: Writing about environmental issues without acknowledging my carbon footprint or the complexities of climate change, which could seem naive or oversimplified.

Unusual Style

While creativity is encouraged, an overly eccentric or unconventional writing style can distract from the core message of your essay. Striking a balance between engaging and clear is key; your essay should be accessible and coherent to all readers, not just those who appreciate avant-garde expression.

Example 1: Attempting to stand out, I wrote an essay entirely as a dialogue. It was creative but confusing to the reader about the message I was trying to convey.

Example 2: Using excessive metaphors and flowery language to describe my journey through high school made the essay difficult to follow and detracted from the real experiences I wanted to share.

Unable to Proofread

A lack of proofreading can leave your essay riddled with typos, grammatical errors, and awkward phrasings, undermining its overall quality and professionalism. Reviewing and refining your writing thoroughly demonstrates attention to detail and a commitment to presenting your best self.

Example 1: I overlooked a few typos and grammatical errors in my rush to submit, which likely gave the impression of carelessness and a lack of attention to detail.

Example 2: Failing to catch that I accidentally used the wrong college name in one of my applications, a mistake that could easily have been avoided with thorough proofreading.

Overuse of Quotations

Relying too heavily on quotes from famous people can overshadow your voice in the essay. While a well-chosen quote can enhance your point, the admissions committee is more interested in hearing from you, not someone else.

Example 1: Starting every paragraph with a quote from a famous figure overshadowed my voice and made it seem like I couldn't speak for myself.

Example 2: I rely heavily on a quote to frame my essay, only to realize it doesn't add value to my personal story but serves as a crutch.

Ignoring the Prompt

Failing to address the essay prompt directly is a common mistake. The prompt guides your writing and gives insight into what the admissions committee hopes to learn about you. Straying too far from the prompt can result in a disjointed essay that misses the opportunity to answer the questions posed effectively.

Example 1: Getting so caught up in telling a particular story that I veered off-topic and didn't answer the specific question asked by the college, missing the mark on what was being sought.

Example 2: Writing about an accomplishment without linking it back to the prompt's request for a lesson learned or a moment of personal growth, disconnecting my narrative and the essay's objective.

Bad College Essay Examples and a Few Tips On How to Fix Them

The great thing about writing is the power to rewrite. If I approach my essay as a draft that's eagerly awaiting refinement into something better rather than as a delicate treasure too perfect to alter, I'm already on a better path to tackling the inevitable issues that arise.

Now, I'll examine a few real college essay drafts to identify where I might be veering off course and explore potential solutions to improve them.

First Example

Ever since I was a child, the beach has been a place of wonder for me. The endless expanse of water, the way the sun would set, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink, and the feel of sand beneath my feet always seemed to offer a slice of paradise. This essay aims to describe why the beach is my favorite place and how a day there transforms me, but I'll start by saying it's not just about the natural beauty. It's about what the beach represents to me: freedom, joy, and a chance to be at one with nature.

One particular day at the beach stands out in my memory. It was a day like any other, sunny and bright, with the perfect amount of breeze to keep the heat at bay. My friends and I decided to make the most of this day by heading to the most popular beach in town. From the moment we arrived, I knew it was going to be a day to remember. We played volleyball, swam in the crystal-clear waters, and even tried our hands at surfing, which, by the way, was a spectacular failure. But what made this day truly special was not just the activities we engaged in but the laughter and joy shared among friends.

Now, you might be thinking, "What's so bad about this essay? It describes a fun day at the beach." However, the problem lies not in the content but in the presentation. The essay lacks depth, offering a superficial recounting of a day's events without delving into the personal growth or insights gained from the experience. It reads more like a diary entry than a college essay meant to showcase my abilities to reflect, analyze, and learn from my experiences.

Moreover, the essay fails to connect the described experience to my broader life goals, interests, or values. It doesn't explain why the beach is significant beyond its aesthetic appeal or how the experiences there have shaped me as a person. In essence, it misses an opportunity to reveal something meaningful about my character or how I engage with the world around me.

In terms of language and structure, the essay also falls short. It relies on clichés ("a slice of paradise") and broad statements ("the beach represents freedom, joy, and a chance to be at one with nature") without offering unique or compelling insights. The narrative lacks a clear focus, meandering through various beach activities without a cohesive thread to tie them together. Additionally, there's a noticeable absence of vivid, sensory details that could bring the essay to life and transport the reader to the beach alongside me.

To improve this essay, I would need to dig deeper, reflecting on how my experiences at the beach have influenced my perspective on life, my relationships, or my personal growth. I could explore a specific moment of realization or challenge that occurred there and how it led to a deeper understanding of myself or the world. By focusing on reflection and personal insight, the essay could transform from a generic recounting of a day at the beach to a compelling narrative that truly captures the essence of who I am and what I value.

Mistakes and Solutions for the First Example

  1. Lack of Personal Insight: The essay narrates events without delving into the writer's internal journey or what these experiences mean to them on a deeper level.
    Solution: Integrate personal reflections demonstrating growth or learning outcomes from the day at the beach. For example, discuss a moment of overcoming fear while trying to surf and relate this to broader life lessons.
  2. Superficial Treatment of the Topic: The essay treats the beach as merely a backdrop for activities rather than exploring its significance in the writer's life.
    Solution: Explain why the beach is meaningful. Perhaps it's a place of solace that contrasts with the writer's usually hectic life, offering insights into their values or coping mechanisms.
  3. Clichés and Broad Statements: Phrases like "a slice of paradise" and "the beach represents freedom, joy, and a chance to be at one with nature" are overused and vague.
    Solution: Replace clichés with original descriptions and specific examples that show, rather than tell, what the beach represents. For instance, describe a particular moment that encapsulated the feeling of freedom.
  4. Lack of Focus: The essay jumps from one activity to another without a clear central theme or message.
    Solution: Choose a single thread or theme to weave through the essay, such as the failed attempt at surfing and what it taught the writer about humility, persistence, or the value of new experiences.
  5. Missed Connection to Broader Life Goals or Interests: The essay does not link the beach experience to the writer's larger life story or aspirations.
    Solution:
     Draw connections between the day at the beach and personal goals or interests. For example, if the writer is passionate about environmental science, they could discuss how the experience reinforced their commitment to ocean conservation.
  6. Lack of Sensory Details and Vivid Imagery: While the essay describes activities, it misses the opportunity to engage the reader's senses and evoke a stronger emotional response.
    Solution:
     Incorporate sensory details that bring the scene to life, such as the salty taste of sea spray, the roughness of the sand underfoot, or the exhilarating chill of the first dive into the waves.
  7. Generic Conclusion: The essay ends on a note that doesn't leave a lasting impression or encapsulate the writer's unique perspective.
    Solution:
     Conclude with a reflective note that ties back to the essay's opening, offering a thoughtful insight or revelation that underscores the personal significance of the experience

Second Example

Pizza is undoubtedly the best food ever created, and in this essay, I will explain why. From its delicious taste to its versatility in toppings, pizza stands out among all other foods, making it my absolute favorite. Not only does pizza bring joy and satisfaction, but it also has a way of bringing people together. Whether it's a party or a simple family dinner, pizza is always the go-to choice for a meal everyone can agree on.
Firstly, the taste of pizza is unbeatable. Combining melted cheese, savory tomato sauce, and crispy crust creates a perfect harmony of flavors. Each bite is delightful, whether it's a classic Margherita or a loaded Meat Lovers. I remember the first time I tried pizza; it was a life-changing experience. The flavors were so rich and robust that I knew from that moment that no other food could compare.
Moreover, the versatility of pizza is another reason it tops the list of best foods. There are endless possibilities for toppings, meaning there's a pizza for everyone. Whether you're a vegetarian, a meat lover, or somewhere in between, you can customize your pizza to fit your taste preferences. This adaptability makes pizza a universal food that caters to various dietary needs and preferences.
Additionally, pizza has a unique way of bringing people together. It's a food meant to be shared, making it perfect for social gatherings. There's nothing better than bonding over a large pizza with friends or family. It's a communal food that fosters togetherness and creates memories. My most cherished moments involve sharing a pizza with loved ones, laughing and enjoying each other's company.

Mistakes and Solutions for the Second Example

  1. Lack of Depth and Personal Insight: The essay focuses on general praises of pizza without offering a deep personal connection or reflection on how this preference reflects the writer's personality, values, or experiences beyond surface-level observations.
  2. Failure to Address a Prompt: Assuming this essay was meant to showcase something meaningful about the applicant, it misses the opportunity to use the topic of pizza as a metaphor or jumping-off point for deeper insights about the writer.
  3. Overly Casual Tone: While the subject matter can be seen as lighthearted, the essay treats the topic with an overly casual tone that doesn't demonstrate the maturity or analytical thinking colleges look for in applicants.
  4. Lack of Structure and Purpose: The essay reads more like a series of disconnected thoughts than a cohesive argument or narrative. No clear introduction, development, or conclusion ties the writer's thoughts about pizza to a larger theme or purpose.
  5. Missed Opportunities for Creativity: Even with a seemingly trivial topic like pizza, there's room for creativity in drawing unexpected connections or insights. This essay, however, stays within the realm of the obvious without venturing into more original or thought-provoking territory.

Final Words

Remember that the college essay is your opportunity to shine and rise above other applicants by demonstrating your writing ability and your unique qualities and potential as a student.

Beware of topics and approaches that may negatively affect your judgment or self-reflection. Instead, focus on the authenticity and accuracy of the presentation, keeping in mind your audience's expectations.
By doing so, you position yourself not only as a candidate who can write but also as a candidate who can think, reflect, and thrive in an environment that values independence and intellectual curiosity.

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